Friday, September 11, 2009

Shoulders to Tiny for Such a Large Burden (Part 1)

Authority “Baby Boomers” The birth of rebellion This chapter is about authority, understanding authority and how it affects you and your personality. First let’s look at the meaning of authority: the right and power to enforce laws, exact obedience, command, determine or judge. Our first encounter with authority is parental. This includes the balance of a mother, or feminine, and a father, or masculine. If you have this as a positive experience you are off to a great start. If not, you will probably have issues with authority. If you had both parents in your life, and if it was a dysfunctional situation, whether it was alcoholism, drug abuse or sexual immorality, you may have issues with some type of authority. As a child you absorb your environment and the things you experience. So if your childhood was dysfunctional and off the hook in a negative way, those experiences become part of who you are, and manifest themselves as part of your character and personality. They will become part of your core principles. Your judgments and decisions will come from those experiences. Take time to examine yourself as it relate to authority. It can affect you in the workplace, the home, in business, and day- to- day decision making. How do you handle authority? Do you pick apart the decisions of those in authority? Do you love it when they make mistakes? You can’t stop focusing on their bad decisions. You may even live in fear of authority. You are so intimidated by authority that you can’t look a person in authority in the eye. If you relate to any of these examples, you need to try to understand why. How did you get where you are? And if you are not pleased with this part of you, try changing. In extreme cases you may need to seek out professional help, like a psychotherapist. For more clarification let me tell my story. I hope you can learn from my experience. If you were raised without the father figure in your life I’m sure you will be able to relate. This example is also to target young black, fatherless males, who may not understand how authority relates to them. To others that don’t posses any of these issues I’m sure you will gain insight into those who are influenced by these negative events that have accrued in their life. I was born to a teen age mother of sixteen. Who had turned sixteen two weeks earlier. There was no male influence in her life. Her dad was absent from her upbringing. What we have here is a baby having a baby. I was born right in the middle of the Baby Boomer generation. The generation that caused a pivotal landmark in our country’s history. I remember that from the age seven or eight, there were sit-ins, rallies, bra burnings, the civil rights movement, Dr. Martin Luther King, and of course, the Black Panthers Party. Out of all of these activities that were going on, the one I related to the most was the black panthers. Black Panther Party(BPP) was, a militant black political organization originally known as the Black Panther Party for Self-Defense. It was founded in Oakland, California. The BPP advocated black self-defense and the restructuring of American society to make it more politically, economically, and socially equal. Their goals were in a ten-point platform that demanded, among other things, full employment, exemption of black men from military service, and an end to police brutality. They summarized their demands in the final point: “We want land, bread, housing, education, clothing, justice, and peace.” They adopted the Black Panther symbol from an independent political party established the previous year by black residents of Lowndes County, Alabama. The BPP were influenced by the Black Muslim leader, Malcolm X, who called on black people to defend themselves. They also supported the Black Power movement, which stressed racial dignity and self-reliance. The BPP established patrols in black communities in order to monitor police activities and protect the residents from police brutality, and I loved it! .I was raised in the West Oakland neighborhood where the BPP evolved from. The young men that were part of the BPP were the only male figures in my environment. As a young male kid growing up in the hood, these were the guys that everyone looked up to, and wanted to imitate, similar to today’s neighborhood gangs. So when I saw them being killed and beaten up, I imagined the same things were happening to me. There was one instance that involved my aunt and cousins. Who were caught in a cross fire gun fight between the Panthers and police. It led to a chase, with the police chasing the Panthers into the basement of the neighbor’s house next door to my cousins. The police broke into my aunt’s house in full attack gear while they were sleeping. They were told to get back and down on the floor while they went to the windows adjacent to the house where the Panthers were hiding, and began shooting. (Remember, I’m telling this true story from the eyes of a seven year old). When all was said and done, my aunt was left with a shot up house and a totally destroyed old station wagon. This was a devastating event in our family. This was the first time we came face to face the events of our times. At this time, me being the age of seven and the oldest male in our family, I had already developed the sense of being the protector of three families. The family was divided into three segments: First my immediate family, which included my 3 siblings; (Gail, my only sister was 6 yrs., Jerome was 4 yrs. and my baby brother Gregory 3 yrs.) My Grandma’s family now included a young daughter that was younger than me. My aunt, who had four girls and one baby boy all younger than myself. I carried more weight than any seven year old kid should have to carry at this age. But it was my life and it was real. What made the destruction of the old station wagon so devastating was that it was the only transportation, and all three families had to share. I took this personally. There was nothing I could do at that age. This was the beginning of my storing up anger hatred with a cry on the inside for revenge. The police refused to have my aunt’s car repaired; this was a total loss for all three families. The anger from this stayed bottled up in me throughout my adolescent and young adult years. This could be the very event that started my issues with authority.


  1. What an experience for a 7-year old child.. I'll be looking forward to the rest of the story. You're a strong man.

  2. okay i read part its a complete story. man, intense and sad. Amazing what people go through. You are a tough cookie, anthony, and glad you came out of it with flying colors. I am honored to know you, and read your stories.

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